Good Parenting News

Break-up kids hurt by family court

admin — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:55:37 +0000

THE Family Court is forcing children of separated parents to have contact with violent fathers against their will, a new study of court judgments shows.

Some of the parents have threatened to kill or burn former partners, while others stalk, abuse and harass their former partners.

But research published in the latest Journal of Family Studies says such behaviour is excused or ignored by judges who are determined to ensure separated fathers continue to have a presence in their children’s lives.

The study of 20 cases of contested contact of children involving domestic violence showed judges ignored the wishes of vulnerable children, and blamed mothers for failing to support access by violent fathers.

In nearly half of such cases the child was a direct witness to the violence, although in no cases was the child physically harmed.

Researchers Amanda Shea Hart and Dale Bagshaw concluded there was “little visible consideration of the potential or current effects of domestic violence on the children”.

They said notions of the “idealised post-separation family” took precedence over the special needs of the children in the cases they analysed from a five-year period.

The 33 children involved in the 20 cases were aged between two and 16 at the time of the final hearings.

Many had a wide range of social and behavioural problems themselves, including violence, anti-social behaviour and emotional fragility. Some expressed a “wish to die”.

Of the 20 cases, no final orders included supervised contact between parents and children.

The research also found:

IN all 20 cases, judges expressed concerns about the effect of the absence of the fathers on their children’s lives, despite the presence of domestic violence.

IN seven cases judges expressed sympathy for the father, and the hurt caused by mothers who were seen as acting unfairly towards their former partners.

IN 13 cases violent husbands were described as “loving fathers”.

Since 1995 an emphasis on shared parenting — which aims to give children a right to know both their mother and father — has been followed by the Family Court.

But Dr Shea Hart and Dr Bagshaw believe this has made life difficult for children and mothers in cases where the break-up was caused by domestic violence perpetrated by fathers.

“There can be concerning outcomes for children who are required to spend time with their violent fathers,” they said.

“The safety and psychological needs of these children must be recognised and understood for their best interests to be served.”

The researchers argued proof of domestic violence must also be seen as evidence of compromised parenting practices.

They argued it must be taken into account and given considerable weight when making an order for a child to spend time with a violent parent.

Break-up kids hurt by family court | Herald Sun

Parenting Your Teenager

admin — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:52:47 +0000

Parenting Your Teenager Presented by
Garden City News, USA - 41 minutes ago
In this parent-friendly exploration, Dr. DeCamello uses slides, discussion and feedback to enable you to anticipate and respond well to emerging issues and …

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Parenting: Boost your child’s self-esteem

admin — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:51:55 +0000

Parenting: Boost your child’s self-esteem
The New Nation, Bangladesh - 1 hour ago
You as a parent can do the following to enhance his self esteem. First of all, make him feel important. Do not ignore what he is saying and value his …

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All About Parenting Blog Carnival - About Working Moms

admin — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:51:03 +0000

About Working Moms

All About Parenting Blog Carnival
About Working Moms, DC - 2 hours ago
Parenting is the most important job in the world, and it’s also one of the toughest. We all find ourselves juggling family time, household chores, …

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My Child - mychild.gov.au

admin — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:10:17 +0000

The website mychild.gov.au provides information to families about Australian Government early learning and care initiatives and other issues that affect children.

You will find information on different types of child care, how to access assistance with the cost of child care, as well as a searchable database of local child care services.

You will also find links to other useful websites about children’s health, development and wellbeing, parenting and family support services.

mychild

The 3000 fibs that parents tell their kids

admin — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:04:40 +0000

PARENTS tell their children almost 3000 little white lies as they are growing up, a new survey of 3000 mums and dads has revealed.

Eight in 10 parents said they fibbed to their children to protect them from the truth, while 46 per cent said they resorted to white lies when they did not know the real answers to their children’s questions.

But a list of the most common white lies by parents has revealed they mostly just want to get their own way. According to the survey by The Baby Website, the most popular fib - told by 84 per cent of parents - was that Santa would visit only good children.
our children

White lies we tell our children:

• Father Christmas only comes to good little children (84 per cent)

• Father Christmas only visits children who go to sleep (81 per cent)

• Sitting too close to the TV makes your eyes go square (60 per cent)

• Spinach makes you strong (48 per cent)

• If you cross your eyes, the wind will change and they’ll stay there (39 per cent)

• An apple tree will grow in their tummies if they eat apple pips (27 per cent)

• If children play with their privates too much, they will drop off (25 per cent)

• The ice cream van only plays music to let children know it has run out of ice cream (22 per cent)

• Eating crusts will put hair on your chest (22 per cent)

• The police arrest children who swear (20 per cent)

Read more…

The 3000 fibs that parents tell their kids | The Courier-Mail

Junk food advertising banned from children’s television

admin — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 22:15:01 +0000

JUNK food advertising will be banned on children’s TV under an agreement by some of the country’s biggest food and drink manufacturers.

The Australian Food and Grocery Council will today announce a code to ensure that its members advertise only healthy food when the target audience is mainly children aged under 12.

The code will also apply to advertising during movies and radio programs, in publications, and on websites and computer games.

The code will also ban the use of popular or licensed characters such as the Wiggles, Shrek and Kung Fu Panda in promoting junk food.

And members will be forced to end free toy offers linked to the purchase of food.

Food and Grocery Council members include Coca-Cola Amatil, Mars, and Cadbury- Schweppes.

The takeaway food industry, which includes companies such as McDonald’s, is also believed to be close to finalising a new agreement on rules for marketing to children.

Food and Grocery Council chief Kate Carnell said the code would ensure only healthy foods and drinks would be advertised during TV programs watched mainly by primary school children.

“We don’t think the nanny state or lots of censorship is what this is about,” Ms Carnell said. “This is a particular chunk of programs where often younger children are watching on their own and may not be mature enough yet to make healthy decisions for themselves.”

But junk food could still be advertised on TV programs watched by teenagers and on PG-rated shows, which parents and children should be viewing together.

An independent arbiter and complaints system will be established to ensure participating companies comply. The companies will develop action plans to show how they will comply with the code’s principles.

Ms Carnell said food and beverages marketed to children aged under 12 would have to meet “established scientific or Australian government standards”.

“Our aim in developing the initiative is to provide a framework for food and beverage companies to promote healthy dietary choices and lifestyles to Australian children,” she said.

Ms Carnell said some food companies were likely to cease advertising altogether during children’s TV programs, while others would only run ads relating to healthy products.

The Food and Grocery Council will release details of the advertising code in a submission to the Australian Communications and Media Authority.

In August, ACMA said it was not considering restrictions on food and beverage advertising to children.

A recent survey found that most children don’t eat enough fruit and vegetables and almost a quarter are overweight.

Junk food advertising banned from children’s television | NEWS.com.au

Most divorced dads want more time with children

admin — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:35:56 +0000

THREE-QUARTERS of divorced fathers want to have custody of their children for at least 50 per cent of the time, while as many as 36 per cent wish they could have their children all of the time.

Based on a survey of 300 child-support payers, mostly fathers, and 300 payees, mostly mothers, the research shows that some women also want less time with their children and are willing to share the load.

According to the survey, conducted by the Child Support Agency, 61 per cent of parents (mostly women) receiving money from their former partners said they would ideally like to have their children all of the time.

But significantly, 36 per cent were happy to share their children 50 per cent of the time or more.

This is inconsistent with reality. At the moment, the overall main carer ratio is about 87 per cent women and 13 per cent men. The figures reveal that a lot would be willing to have shared arrangements, but do not currently have them.

Human Services Minister Joe Ludwig said it demonstrated that fathers wanted more to do with their children.

“The striking changes in the roles of men and women in Australian society are being reflected in parenting after separation,” Senator Ludwig said. “Most separated dads are working hard to support their kids and the survey shows a large percentage want more to do in their children’s lives.”

The survey commissioned by the Child Support Agency charts that there were strong, positive changes in how parents viewed their relationship with their former partner, over a six-month period that included the introduction in July of a new system for calculating child support payments.

Under the new system, the greater the proportion of time the paying parent has custody of their child, the less their repayments are.

In August, 43 per cent of parents said they were very likely to deal with the other parent in a businesslike way — up from 26 per cent in February.

“That represents 250,000 mums and dads who now say they’ve improved the way they deal with each other,” Senator Ludwig said.

The survey also shows a dramatic drop in the number of parents saying they were very unlikely to deal in a businesslike way with their former partner. That figure has fallen from 45 per cent to 26 per cent over the same period.

“The new child support system is designed to cement these social trends towards greater shared parental responsibility,” the senator said.

“Some fathers are responding to the new child support system, which encourages a greater proportion of shared care.”

As the new scheme is bedded down, Senator Ludwig expected these positive social trends to improve further.

Most divorced dads want more time with children | The Australian

Children should learn respect

admin — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:05:59 +0000

OH, behave. The aim of the game isn’t to be liked by your kids. It’s to be respected by them.

Last week my husband and I joined friends for dinner at a restaurant. At the table behind us, four parents were allowing their combined children to run around the restaurant playing tag. They careened into patrons, tables and waitresses. While everyone else shook their heads in horror, no-one put a stop to it. One of my friends asked our waiter to tell the parents to stop allowing their children to misbehave.

The waiter said something to them and one of the parents responded loudly: “If you don’t like the real world, go home.” And so we did, and we won’t go back.

I’ve written about egocentricity, but what about “child-centricity”? Some kids are headed in the direction of the adult egocentric who has no concept of others, and is driven only by what he wants, when he wants it.

This is how it goes. Mum is terrified that the children won’t love her, so she doesn’t discipline them, and Dad is terrified that Mum won’t love him so he doesn’t discipline them. Subsequently, the children become the general public’s vilified objects of loathing.

When I was a stay-at-home mother of two small children, my objective was that my children be people who I wanted to spend time with. I can’t imagine how parents exist in households with boundary-less children. The lack of order must be punishing for them all.

A parent’s place isn’t to be liked by their children; it’s to be respected by them. Parenting is a job and a responsibility. Children enter as amorphous, innocent mounds of instincts and energy. But they don’t know how to harness or direct those instincts or energy.

Show me a child who doesn’t want to draw on the walls or play tag in a restaurant. These are both examples of instincts and use of energy. But both are also unacceptable. So whose job is it to enforce rules that guide children into becoming likable, accepted citizens of society?

What is discipline? It’s wanting to draw on the walls and being able to control yourself so that you don’t. That discipline can only be learned by internalising. From being told “no”, the child then learns to stop him or herself.

Then there’s the energy aspect. If the child has too much focused energy to be able to stop themselves, that’s where The Supernanny’s “time-out” stool is a great idea. “Pulling oneself together” doesn’t just apply to children. We all feel overwhelmed occasionally, and need time out.

As adults, we have practice. Children are new to calming and stopping themselves from doing what they want to do, and until they learn how, parents must be their handbrake.

If you came to the table with attitude, my father would say: “Go to your room until you can make a contribution to this table.”

We weren’t allowed to disrupt a table, let alone a whole restaurant.

Children should learn respect | Herald Sun

We need urgent help, say grandparents

admin — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:57:08 +0000

Cash-strapped seniors forced to raise their grandchildren without any real monetary support say the global financial crisis will push many to the wall unless governments recognise the crucial job they do.

The Tewantin-founded Grandparents and Grandchildrens Society has been fighting since 2002 for grandparents raising their loved ones to be given the same rights and access to support as foster carers.

Noosa grandmother and GAGS spokeswoman B Williams told The Noosa Journal this week things were getting serious in the face of the global financial crisis and its affect on superannuation and employment cut backs.

Many retired grandparents who were forced to return to work to support their grandchildren and who were already weathering rising rents, interest rates and living costs were out on a limb.

Read more…

We need urgent help, say grandparents - - News | The Noosa Journal